Gifts
by wolfraven80
Summary: It was a year to the day since Byleth had disappeared. It would be like any other day since the start of the war-or so Edelgard told herself. [f!BylethxEdelgard] [Black Eagle route spoilers] [appearances by all the Black Eagles]


**Gifts**

The sun was rising earlier day by day yet Edelgard was up long before dawn, though in truth, sleep had eluded her for much of the night. Spring was slow to come this year and cold kept threatening to reclaim the fields even now at the end of Lone Moon. Frost had crept up the windowpane of her bedroom window overnight, a spiderweb of crystalline cold on the glass. She noted it as she performed her morning routine, but cold could not touch her while she carried the Crest of Flames in her blood. The professor too had been like that, radiating heat, always warm to the touch.

Edelgard chided herself as she realized the direction her wandering mind was taking her. _It's a day like any other. And I _will_ treat it as such._ In recent months she had had to spend a great deal of time in Enbarr and her generals had been divided along the borders, dealing with raids and resistance from Church-aligned factions. They had only just returned to Garreg Mach for upcoming spring operations. So she would read reports, advise on strategy, and send troops to deal with skirmishes, bandits, rebellions or any other fires that had cropped up. It would be like any other day since the start of the war.

It made no difference that it was one year to the day since the professor's disappearance.

Given that it was any other day, she was surprised when she stepped out of her room and into the second floor hallway to find Caspar waiting for her with an axe strapped to his back. "Hey Edelgard," he said, shifting from foot to foot. "Is it too early to ask for a huge favour?"

"No, of course not. What can I do for you?" she replied with perfect calm that gave no hint about her surprise at seeing him there so early. She had made a habit of training daily to keep her edge, and early to avoid company.

"Great!" Caspar said, punching his open palm. He had grown several inches in the past year and begun broadening in the shoulders and chest, but on the whole he still had the look of a gangly colt. "I could really use your help with some axe work. I'm using a heavier weapon and it's great for cleaving but it's slowing me down too. Thought you could offer some pointers."

"Certainly."

Once in the training room she made Caspar hack at a practice dummy so she could observe his movements. She made a few suggestions based on what she'd noted, and then sparred, to have him try to apply it in real time. Needless to say she disarmed him quickly and repeatedly, but his movements grew more fluid each time. He was learning.

"All right, all right, I give," Caspar said, panting. Edelgard set down her practice weapon and allowed Caspar to catch his breath. "That was sure intense. Heck, I was almost expecting you to say 'allow me to demonstrate' like the professor used to."

"The professor," Edelgard repeated. It took all her will to keep her voice steady.

Caspar nodded. "She told me I should train with you whenever I got the chance. Said your bladework was beautiful."

Edelgard's chest clenched. "Did she?" She could see Byleth standing in this very room, hear her voice echoing off the walls. She had spent so much time here. Her personal time even. She had spent it here with her students, sparring with them, watching them run through their routines and advising, correcting, and–of course–demonstrating. Byleth had treated her students like they were what was most important to her in all the world.

"Yup. And lots of other stuff about technique and footwork that I probably should've paid more attention to." He sighed. "I sure miss her. Guess we all do, huh?"

"Yes. Very much," Edelgard managed around the lump in her throat.

"Well I'd better let you get some breakfast and get to all that emperor stuff you have to deal with," he said as he gathered his things. "Thanks for training with me."

"Of course." But all the way through breakfast, all she could think about was Byleth's training sessions. Her lean body darting from defense to attack in a heartbeat, the taut muscles of her shoulders, the scar on her left arm that was only visible when she removed her bracers.

_Where are you, Professor?_ Her teacher was alive. She felt the certainty of it in her bones. She had felt it every day for the past year and nothing in all that time had changed that, not the endless searches, the pitying glances of her friend when they thought she wouldn't notice, the lack of a body. Not the ache whenever she remembered Byleth's face and the intensity of her eyes. The deep sea-blue they'd been. The verdant green they'd become.

It was with relief that she spotted Hubert waiting for her outside the room she'd taken as her study. Now the day's real work would begin and there would be no more time for self-indulgent reflection. "Good day, Hubert, is there anything that requires my immediate attention?"

He bowed. "Lady Edelgard. No, there's nothing urgent but you do have someone waiting to see you. And another appointment following that."

"Is that so?" She waited for him to offer details but he only bowed again and departed, leaving Edelgard to open her office door and discover who her mysterious appointment was with. When she did, she stifled the urge to groan.

"Good morning to you, Edelgard!" Ferdinand greeted her with far more zest than was warranted at this hour of the day.

"Ferdinand. Is there something you wished to discuss with me?"

"A matter of vital importance." He waved his hand towards her desk where a chess board had been set up.

"Vital importance," Edelgard repeated with incredulity. How had this gotten past Hubert? Normally he screened out this sort of nonsense so that she could focus on important matters. Like the war.

"It is essential that I maintain my tactical thinking even between battles. Games of skill are a fine way to practice." She was about to protest but he went on before she could get a word in edgewise. "And since Hubert confirmed that your schedule was open today I concluded that this was the ideal time to challenge you to a game of wits." And then with a flourish, "En garde, Edelgard!"

Edelgard heaved a sigh. "Very well." She was definitely going to have to have a word with Hubert. What in the world had possessed him to allow this?

Ferdinand was a competent chess player so Edelgard was forced to think carefully about each move and try to anticipate his strategy. After a while she did notice that his gaze had a way of drifting to the pieces he intended to move rather than taking in the whole board as a more masterful player would. This unfortunate tendency kept her always a step ahead of him.

She took her time and considered the board carefully. She could not afford to lose simply because she thought this a frivolous waste of her time. Ferdinand's competitiveness was ill-founded, but he was an important ally. He needed to remain level-headed, not overconfident and overinflated. That would only get him killed.

"Aha! You have made a grave misstep, Edelgard," he announced late into the game when they had each taken a number of each other's key pieces. She had just finished her move and regarded him calmly.

"Is that so?"

"It is indeed!" he said and, without hesitation, moved his bishop to take her queen. He tossed the mane of hair he'd begun to grow out and grinned at her like a squire who'd won his first sparring match.

Edelgard slid her rook across the board. "Checkmate."

"Impossible!" Ferdinand surveyed the board with evident consternation. He reached for a piece, scowled, peered at the board from one angle then another, and finally, shoulders slumping, heaved a tremendous sigh. "I see. You knowingly sacrificed your queen."

Something in the way he said it made her gut twist. And just like that she was seeing it all again, the professor standing before the Immaculate One, facing the beast alone, while Edelgard was too far to help, too far away to do anything but cry out a warning as the stones of Garreg Mach came tumbling down atop them both. Checkmate.

Ferdinand inspected the white queen that he'd taken from her. "It is an easier thing to do on a board than in battle, is it not?"

Edelgard kept her eyes on the board while she composed herself. "It is. And in a real battle, those who are lost cannot simply be replaced in the next battle. They are irreplaceable."

"You sound like the professor. She made a similar observation the last time I challenged her to a match."

His words made her heart soar and plunge all at once. "Did you often play chess with the professor?"

He shrugged. "It became quickly evident that she held you in high esteem and I deemed it essential that I prove my worth to her as well."

"You wished to prove your worth... in chess?" she said, incredulity creeping into her voice in spite of her best efforts to restrain it.

"In all things!" And then, ducking his head and looking a bit red in face, "Unfortunately the professor turned out to be as formidable at chess as on the battlefield." He began gathering the pieces and replacing them in their case. "Thank you for your time, Edelgard. I don't wish to make you late for your next appointment."

"And what appointment is that?"

He acted as if he'd not heard the question and moved to leave. But he paused for a moment, hand on the door latch. "I still have every intention of surpassing you one day, Edelgard. Except perhaps in the professor's estimation. I truly believe that would be an impossible feat."

She stared after him, unable to reign in the swirling tempest of emotions that warred inside her, pride and sorrow and longing.

#

An hour later Edelgard was deep into her next appointment. Which apparently consisted of an interrogation by Linhardt regarding Crests and what she was willing to share about her own.

Finally Linhardt heaved a sigh. "The professor was much more forthcoming, you know."

"Is that so?"

"It is. Unfortunately she also had a limited understanding of her own crest but at least she could share the perceived effects of the crest and any triggering incidents that might contribute to the crest's activation."

Edelgard remained silent. The professor had been able to share because she had no secrets to guard–she had no knowledge of how she'd come to bear her Crest of Flames. That was not the case for Edelgard.

Linhardt was silent for some moments and she'd just begun to wonder if he'd dozen off when he spoke again. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if the professor had chosen another class?"

For a moment Edelgard couldn't breathe. The idea of Byleth not choosing her was every bit as painful as having lost her. "I don't make a habit of dwelling on what ifs. It's counterproductive."

Linhardt shook his head. "Not necessarily. Sometimes considering alternative scenarios can give you a better understanding of the individual elements involved."

And though she suspected she would regret it, Edelgard humoured him. "How so?"

"If the professor had allied herself with another house I suppose she might be safe since she wouldn't have faced the Exalted One in combat. However, she would be our enemy."

His words were daggers. Byleth would be safe, but she would be their enemy, which meant that one day they would have to cross swords, to kill one another in combat. Was there no scenario where they could stand together victorious and see the new world they'd fought to bring about?

Linhardt went on calmly, evidently unaware that his words had had any effect on her. "Without the professor's support you would have had fewer allies and less legitimacy. She has a particular charisma as well as her standing as a representative of the Church. Without that you'd have had to rely more heavily on... other factions."

"Agreed." She didn't know if all the Black Eagles would have followed her if the professor had not. And without the Black Eagle Strike Force, their victory at Garreg Mach would not have been assured. At the very least she would have had to call in Thales and his abominations to deal with the Exalted One. The professor's aid had allowed her to distance herself from her uncle's associates.

"So even now," Linhardt said softly, "the professor's influence continues to be felt."

"Yes," she said simply. Her voice was steady, her face impassive, even as her heart was breaking. She wanted more than anything to have Byleth by her side, to wrap her arms around her and thank her properly for all she'd done. She couldn't have just vanished into the ether. She had to be _somewhere_. Injured perhaps? Or a prisoner of the Church? Or banished to the darkness again by Lord Arundel's allies?

Linhardt's voice pulled her out of her spiralling thoughts. "The professor always possessed a particular gift for making people feel listened to and understood. Do you ever wonder why she chose Black Eagle House?"

She didn't want to tell him that she believed it was because they were similar in temperament, that Byleth's reserve was much like her own and that commonality had drawn them together. She certainly wouldn't tell him that she had felt drawn to Byleth from the moment they'd met, to her strength, to her mystery, to her poise and calm in battle, and her piercing blue eyes. But the truth was she'd never dared ask the professor why she'd made the choices she had.

"Go on," she said instead. "I assume you have a theory."

He wrinkled his nose but went on. "It wasn't a matter of where she was born as the professor apparently knew virtually nothing of her past. She had no allegiance to speak of. Aside from the house leaders, she hadn't spoken to any of us for more than a few minutes."

"What are you getting at?"

He heaved a sigh. "What I'm trying to say is that the determining factor in her choice must have been... you."

"Me?" Edelgard said, her voice barely above a whisper. The professor had saved her life the day they'd met. She'd felt certain from that moment that there was something special about her. But she had never asked if Byleth had felt the same that day.

"You," Linhardt said with a nod. "Somehow it seems you made the professor feel listened to and heard."

And Edelgard had no response at all to that. It was too much. She had won the professor over and yet in doing so had doomed her to whatever fate she was currently suffering.

Linhardt yawned. "Time for a nap," he announced and showed himself out. Edelgard wanted to think on his words, what he was saying about the professor and her choices, but mere moments after he left, Hubert knocked and announced that her lunch appointment had arrived. And then in came one of the staff members from the dining hall with a rolling tray laden with a two-person lunch of mixed greens salad and Enbarr's ever-popular fruit and herring tarts . As he set out the food on the little table to one side of the study, Edelgard spotted Bernadetta peeking into the room.

"Come in, Bernadetta," Edelgard said in a calm, reassuring tone–not that it seemed to do much good.

Bernadetta slunk into the room and hovered by the back wall. Edelgard sighed and sat down to eat lunch. "Please join me," she said, motioning to the empty chair across from her. With the enthusiasm of someone attending her own execution, she did.

The meal was largely silent. Edelgard made the occasional observation about the unseasonable cold or about the seasoning of the fish or about one of the monastery cats that was expecting kittens. Bernadetta barely touched her food and sat trembling miserably in her chair.

When she had finished eating, Edelgard set down her utensils (which made Bernadetta gasp and let out a startled "Eeep!") and gave the archer the most reassuring look she could manage. "Is there something I can do for you, Bernadetta? I think this is the first time we've shared a meal outside the dining hall."

"I–I just w-wanted to keep my promise."

"Your promise?"

"My promise to the professor. She wanted me to stop being afraid of you and she made me promise to sit down for a whole meal with you." The professor. Of course. Who else could inspire such change in their comrades, even after a year's absence? "She was sure you wouldn't yell or get mad or–Oh no you're not mad are you?"

"No, I'm not angry."

And for once Bernadetta did indeed listen to her. "Okay. Well that's good. I should go now." She sprang to her feet, nearly knocking over her chair in her haste to leave.

"Good day, Bernadetta." Edelgard couldn't help but marvel; Byleth had the patience of the saints. The way she'd coaxed and lured that skittish girl out like one might a feral cat–it was astounding really.

Once Bernadetta had scurried away, Edelgard marched out of her study to find Hubert. He was alone in the council room inspecting a pile of reports. "Hubert what is the meaning of this?"

He rose and bowed. "Lady Edelgard. Could you be more precise?"

She crossed her arms and gave him her best "displeased emperor" look. "My appointments for today."

"Ah," he said, utterly unperturbed. "There were some outstanding requests from the members of the Strike Force for your time. Your schedule was light today so it seemed like an appropriate time to grant their requests."

She had every intention of pressing him further, and she would have, had Petra not arrived at that very moment. "Edelgard, I am finally finding you."

Edelgard shot Hubert a scathing glance and then turned her attention to Petra. "Petra, did you wish to see me as well?"

"Yes. You were wanting updating on the monastery's defences."

"So I was." If they were to hold on to Garreg Mach as a base of operations they would need to consider its upkeep and repair. Much of the rubble from the collapse had indeed been cleared away during their desperate search for the professor. Her throat tightened as she recalled those agonizing days when teams of horses had dragged away massive stones and ancient wooden beams, and always the searchers had expected to find a body pulverized beyond recognition. But there had been none. And somehow she had known it. She had known the professor was alive the same way she'd known Byleth would return from the darkness Solon had banished her to. Her teacher was alive. Somewhere.

Petra led her on a tour of the defences, expertly pointing out where they were vulnerable, either due to damage or due to the Church's knowledge of the terrain and structure. She had a keen eye for such things, a hunter's eye. Edelgard also took the opportunity to speak to the soldiers posted around Garreg Mach, reassuring them and answering their questions. It was vital that they understand what they were being asked to fight for, that their goal was not conquest, but freedom for humankind.

The hours slipped past them like a rushing stream and it was evening before they had finished their rounds. "If these plans are likeable, I will be seeing to the arrangements."

Edelgard nodded. "Yes, excellent work. Thank you, Petra."

Petra gave a curt nod and then turned to look out over the battlements to the forest that lay beyond the monastery. "It is important that we are keeping this place safe. It was costing us much to take."

It seemed everyone was bent on reminding her of her failure today. She knew it was her fault the professor was gone. She should have been standing by Byleth's side, facing the Immaculate One shoulder to shoulder. Maybe then Byleth would still be here with them. Not... wherever she was.

"Edelgard."

She looked up at the sound of her name. "Yes?"

Petra offered a faint smile. "I know you are greatly missing the professor." Edelgard could not deny it so she remained silent and Petra nodded. "I am believing we will see the professor again one day. I wish to be sure she is proud of what we are achieving while she is away."

"I wish that too," Edelgard whispered.

#

It was dusk when Edelgard emerged from the Goddess Tower some while after finishing her rounds with Petra. Yet she found Dorothea waiting outside, the last rays of sunlight gracing her delicate features with an otherworldly radiance.

"Hello, Edie. Fancy meeting you here."

She had only become more striking over the past year, but her easy laughter and the glimmer in her eyes seemed to fade with every battle. Dorothea had come to the academy in search of a future–of a husband. Instead she had found herself on the front lines of a war. Edelgard could see the toll it took on her but all she could do was push towards victory so that their sacrifices–all of them–were worth it in the end.

"Dorothea. Were you waiting for me?"

She chuckled. "Well everyone else had a meeting with you today. I didn't want to be left out."

"So that was you. I wondered why everyone suddenly seemed to have urgent business. And it wasn't like Hubert to allow that to happen."

"It took some convincing but I managed to get him to go along with the plan."

Edelgard peered at her with raised eyebrows. "And what was this plan precisely?"

Dorothea's eyes dimmed. "Can't you guess?"

"Enlighten me," Edelgard said with a shake her of her head. She was completely in the dark.

For a moment Dorothea regarded her, sadness deeply etched into her features. She looked every inch the tragic opera heroine that she had once played on stage. "The plan was to make sure you weren't alone today."

Edelgard opened her mouth to make some dismissive comment about it being any other day, but she couldn't speak the lie to Dorothea's face, not when her friend was watching her with such concern. Instead, Edelgard turned to look out at the scraggly pines growing on the crags below. The silence held for a few minutes as the first stars pierced the spreading darkness.

Dorothea's melodious voice broke the silence. "Did you come here the night of ball?"

Edelgard would not have replied had anyone else asked such a question, but Dorothea's warmth was so palpable and so welcome as a cold wind blew across the causeway that she found herself wanting to share with her that cherished memory. "I did. This place has a family connection, so the night of the ball I came to see it for myself." She took a deep breath. "And she was here."

"I thought so," Dorothea said, clearly pleased with herself. "I noticed during the ball that you were both missing at the same time and I _did_ wonder."

Edelgard shook her head. "It wasn't planned. At least not by me." And then after a beat, "Though she did say she was waiting for me." For a second she recalled the surprise and pleasure that had surged through her when the professor had said that. But that flicker of happiness was swallowed up by the reality of the professor's absence. "And now I'm the one left waiting. For someone who may never..." Her voice betrayed her then and she choked on the words.

"Oh Edie..." And then Dorothea had wrapped her up in her arms and was squeezing her tight. "I know how much the professor means to you."

Edelgard called on all her determination, on her steely resolve to steady herself. "I can't afford such weakness, Dorothea. I have to carry on even without the professor."

"I know," Dorothea whispered soothingly. "I know. But not today. For one day a year I think we can hold things together... so that you don't have to."

And then there were tears streaming down Edelgard's cheeks.

#

The others were waiting for them when Dorothea led Edelgard to the dining hall. There at one of the long tables was a cluster of Black Eagles. Caspar was poking Linhardt who had put his head down on the table and dozed off. Ferdinand and Petra were taking turns encouraging Bernadetta while Hubert regarded them all cooly. Their missions had taken them to different corners of the empire these past months, but today they were all here. Her most trusted generals. Her friends.

A smile made its way to Edelgard's lips in spite of the weight of this year that had been resting on her more heavily today. "You're all here."

"The Black Eagle Strike Force reunited!" Caspar said, punching the air. Linhardt blinked at him groggily.

"Take a seat, Edie," Dorothea said, waving her over to the open seat in the middle of the table. She smiled broadly and winked when she caught Edelgard's eye.

"Part two of your plan?" Edelgard said in a low tone as she sat.

"I thought it was time for a little class reunion while we're all here. With all the running around everyone's been doing, I thought you could use a reminder." She reached out and gave Edelgard's arm a friendly squeeze. "You still have us."

Edelgard let her eyes scan over them each in turn. "Thank you, everyone. It's wonderful to have you all in the same place."

As they talked and ate–and even laughed!–she could almost imagine the professor there at the table with them. Byleth had often remained quiet during such gatherings, allowing their more boisterous companions to carry on as they pleased, only speaking to answer a question or to occasionally draw out the quieter members of their band.

Edelgard's wandering attention returned to the present at the mention of the professor. "What about the pendant we got her for her birthday?" Caspar was saying. "Are you sure she got it? She never said anything about it."

Petra tilted her head. "I am remembering she offered us great thanks for the gift. It was the day following her birthing day."

"She said she really liked it," Bernadetta agreed.

"Of course she did," Hubert said dryly. "Lady Edelgard commissioned the pendant especially for the professor and she has excellent taste."

Caspar peered at them all with evident confusion. "What are you talking about? I don't remember that."

"You were late," Linhardt said, sounding exhausted. "You'd been fighting again and came to class with a bloody nose. It made me queasy."

"And she wore it all the time," Dorothea added. "It was always tucked under her collar or her armour."

"Did she?" Ferdinand said peering at Dorothea with raised eyebrows.

Dorothea turned to Edelgard. "You must have noticed, Edie." And the teasing tone of Dorothea's words made her flush because it was true, she had noticed the silver chain around Byleth's neck, peeking out of her shirt during training. It had made Edelgard feel hopeful that Byleth was theirs somehow, their professor, her confidante, even when she knew how soon things would change between them all.

"Yes," Edelgard said with a nod and doing her absolute best to appear unperturbed. "She did wear it."

"You know," Dorothea said slowly, "she told me she was happy to have it because she felt like she always had her Black Eagles with her. That's how she said it 'my Black Eagles'."

Caspar raised his mug in the air. "To the professor!" he said with gusto–and was met with a chorus of agreement.

Edelgard remembered how, during moments like this, Byleth would catch her eye and smile, and for a moment Edelgard would experience true belonging. She would forget for a few minutes that she would have to betray their trust one day, that they might not side with her when the time came to reveal the truth. Only Hubert's loyalty had been assured.

Unmasked and temporarily thwarted at the Holy Tomb, Edelgard had expected to stand alone. Instead, Byleth had sided with her, and the Eagles had followed to the last. From that moment forward it had no longer been a lie: she truly was their leader and they were her most trusted companions, her friends, united by a common cause.

The professor had bound them together and still did though she no longer sat at the table with them. This was the gift she had left behind for Edelgard. And she would not waste it.

_Thank you, Professor... wherever you are._

**The End**


End file.
